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so, here's the deal..i'm asking here because i've talked with lots of friends about this and i wish i could listen to a different opinion.
we've been dating for 5 months and everything has been amazing. Yes, we've had our problems and we both tried to solve them together.. but there's one thing i can't 'fix'.
He does everything he wants, and i agree at all. i do it too, BUT if i do what i like, he goes mad. OR doesn't talk to me.
for example, we both smoke pot but he doesn't want me to do it. he doesn't want me to do lots of things and that's freaking me out. 'You can't do this because you're a woman'. I'm really sick of that.
I love this man, he's the prettiest thing i've ever known, but he's so complicated.
He goes mad if i say: ' i love you' (in a friendly way) to his friends (they are very good people) , if i tell him that he's doin'something wrong, if i'm too sweet (he told me that he doesn't want me to change but, fuck it, if i am who i am, he acts like he's tired of me or sometimes he isn't so... sweet as i would like)
I admit than changing might help and lots of time i've changed for others. But that didn't help me at all in the end, so i decided no to do it anymore. i won't change for him. and my problem is that if i am who i am he acts kinda disturbed, and if i try not to be so 'sweet' he says: what's wrong with you?
he's very complicated and i've considered to spliting up..... But i can't, i'm too in love..

what is that above? :S

I think he sounds like an ass. I don't think you said anything positive about him so, based on what you said, fuck this shit. You don't need that.

[quote="m921":3qk86ix8]
I think he sounds like an ass. I don't think you said anything positive about him so, based on what you said, fuck this shit. You don't need that.
[/quote:3qk86ix8]


well, i did say that because [u:3qk86ix8]those[/u:3qk86ix8] things makes me go insane about him.
he has lots of good things too...

i swear i've tried to tell him to fuck off but i can't. when he's not here i really miss him. and when i see him, i can't describe what i feel.

it sounds to me like this boy has control issues. and please, please listen to me when i say: [i:1f7ok6m4]you cannot fix this.[/i:1f7ok6m4] you encourage this behavior by tolerating it. you must tell him that either he stops making rules he won't follow, or the relationship is over. i will tell you now that even if he says he'll stop, he will not. do not put yourself through this. i believe that you love him, but you will only hurt yourself if you stay with him.

las relaciones tienen que ser igual para durar. si йl no hace nada para corregir este problema immediamente, destruirб la relaciуn. espero que йl cambie, pero temo que йl no pueda.
йl no debe tratar te asн. tu mereces mejor que esto.

yo sи que es facil decir que merezco algo mejor, pero cuando trato de alejarme juro que me duele el pecho... =S

yeah, we've talked about those 'control issues'. he says he chokes when he does sexist comments.
i'll talk to him again but i don't know what to tell him when he asks me for examples. because for all the bad things i do he has examples. and he's right in most of them.. or i'm being blind =S fuck i'm really confused...

Dump him. He's a self absorbed asshole. Find someone who tries to make you happy, not himself.

^ Agreed. Men rarely change and theres no point in trying to change them.

Sounds like he is on a clear path of hitting you, too.

The story above is all signs of bad.

Dump him and wait...when you are least expecting it, the right one will come around.

YOU CAN NOT CHANGE A MAN THEY HAVE TO WANT TO CHANGE. YOU HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE WHO ACCEPTS YOU JUST AS YOU ARE.

Otherwise 5 years from now you will wake up, realize you wasted the best years of your life on a total bum.

yeh if you don't want to change for him it's not fair to expect him to change for you. I have a friend who stuck with a guy like that for 3 years and now he's interferring in her new relationship, stop things now. BUT it will be hard and it isn't up to us, good luck chick.

thanks to all of you. all of your advices helped me a lot.

[quote="QueenFairyPants":zv0eac1i]
yeh if you don't want to change for him it's not fair to expect him to change for you. I have a friend who stuck with a guy like that for 3 years and now he's interferring in her new relationship, stop things now. BUT it will be hard and it isn't up to us, good luck chick.
[/quote:zv0eac1i]


well, i didn't want him to change. i want him to be a better person. with me, at least

yes, it's pretty hard to make a desicion

[quote="forgotten":3917xuec]
Dump him. He's a self absorbed asshole. Find someone who tries to make you happy, not himself.
[/quote:3917xuec]

I agree with this.

[quote="Novacaine":1kd2fx38]
well, i didn't want him to change. i want him to be a better person. with me, at least

yes, it's pretty hard to make a desicion
[/quote:1kd2fx38]


Wanting him to be a better person is asking for him to change...or so it seems. I'm sorry I don't wanna sound harsh.